Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
