mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
