You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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