Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Farmville is her only friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
