omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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