Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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