omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
