Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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