he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
