you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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