At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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