I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
