She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize