the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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