Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
