i need an iv and a liver transplant
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
