No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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