how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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