So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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