you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
