and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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