I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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