I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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