Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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