whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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