So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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