I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
