I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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