You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
