What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
