If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
