Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
