i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
