everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She bit a glass in half.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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