And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The Olympian is in my bed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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