I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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