I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
