They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
