There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
