last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
