Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
