What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
