do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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