The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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