Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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