and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
