we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
