"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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