dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
