Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
