if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just gift wrapped bread.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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