watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
