Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

i can't believe i had my finger in that

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(845): View more from New York

It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.

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(716): View more from New York

I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night

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