love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
