I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
