I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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