you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
