: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
