R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
